Forbidden Love
by DarkWingsGirl
Summary: This is my Shadow Kiss but a little different. It starts the same as the book but then changes bringing Dimitri and Rose together sooner and having a bit more time together before It happens. Bad summary but please read. Better than my summary.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, sorry guys. I somehow deleted the end part of this chapter the first time I posted it. I have now added it and it makes more sence now for going into chapter 2. Since I had to edit this, I'll also add that I do not own the story or the characters. Most of this chapter is from the actual book so you can get into it. Thanks guys. Please comment**

His fingertips slid along my back, applying hardly and pressure, yet sending shock waves over my flesh. Slowly, slowly, his hands moved across my skin, down the sides of my stomach to finally rest in the curves of my hips. Just below my ear, I felt his lips press against my neck, followed by another kiss just below it, then another, then another….

His lips moved from my neck toward my cheek and then finally found my mouth. We kissed, wrapping ourselves closer together. My blood burned within me, and I felt more alive in that moment than I ever had. I love him, loved Christian so much that-

Christian?

Oh no.

Some coherent part of me immediately realized what was happening—and boy, was it pissed off. The rest of me, however, was still actually living in this encounter, experiencing it as though I was the one being touched and kissed. That part of me couldn't break away. I'd merged too much with Lissa, and for all intents and purposes, this was happening to me.

No, I told myself sternly. It's not real – not for you. Get out of there.

But how could I listen to logic when every nerve of my body was being set on fire?

You aren't her. This isn't your head. Get out.

His lips. There was nothing in the world right now except his lips.

It's not him. Get out.

The kisses were the same, exactly as I remembered with him….

No, it's not Dimitri. Get out.

Dimitri's name was like cold water hitting me in the face. I got out.

I sat upright in my bed, suddenly feeling smothered. I tried kicking off the covers but mostly ended up entangling my legs even more. My heart beat hard in my chest, and I tried to take deep breaths to steady myself and return to my own reality.

Times sure had changed. A long time ago, Lissa's nightmares used to wake me up from sleep. Now her sex life did. To say they two were a little different would be an understatement. I'd actually gotten the hang of blocking out her romantic interludes—at least when I was awake. This time, Lissa and Christian had (unintentionally) outsmarted me. In sleep my defenses were down, allowing strong emotions to pass through the psychic link that connected me to my best friend. This wouldn't have been a problem if the two of them had been in bed like normal people- and by "being in bed," I mean "asleep."

"God," I muttered, sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. My voice was muffled in a yawn. Couldn't Lissa and Christian have seriously kept their hands off each other until waking hours?

Worse than being waken up, though, was the way I still felt. Sure, none of that making out had actually happened to me. It hadn't been my skin being touched or my lips being kissed. Yet my body seemed to feel the loss of it nonetheless. It had been a very long time since I'd been in that kind of situation. I ached and felt warm all over. It was idiotic, but suddenly, desperately, I wanted someone to touch me—even just to hold me. But definitely not Christian. The memory of those lips on mine flashed back through my mind, how they'd felt, and how my sleepy self had been so certain it was Dimitri kissing me.

I stood up on shaky legs, feeling restless and… well, sad. Sad and empty. Needing to walk off my weird mood, I put on a robe and slippers and left my room for the bathroom down the hall. I splashed cool water on my face and stared in the mirror. The reflection looking back at me had tangled hair and bloodshot eyes. I looked sleep-deprived, but I didn't want to go back to bed.

I looked like crap, but I couldn't stop thinkg\ing about what I'd just seen and felt. I needed to feel what had just happened, but have it be real. I started feeling nervous as I made up my mind. I decided not to look in th mirror again knowing I'd definately not be able to go through with my plan if I saw the tangled mess that was my hair. Not to mention my freakishly red, blood-shot eyes. I left the bathroom with a knot forming in my stomach. I climbed the stairs quietly wondering if I could servive if rejected. Before I could really decide I was at his door. I knocked quietly almost hoping he wouldn't hear. Only a second later he was there standing in the open doorway.


	2. Chapter 2

**Forgot to add that I do Not own any of this. All of the characters belong to Richelle Mead.**

"Rose?" Dimitri asked sounding almost confused. I could see I had got him out of bed, just like that night we were under the compulsion spell. He was wearing another pair of cotton pajama bottoms and no shirt. Damn. He was hot.

"I need… to talk." I managed finding my voice again.

He looked like he was trying to decide to let me in or not. I felt a little relieved but even more nervous as he stepped aside slowing me to go in. It might be a good sign though I thought to myself, maybe he really does want me here….

"Is something wrong?" He asked me gently brushing his fingers through my tangled hair. Oh, God I thought, he's touching my hair again…and I'm in his room…. I started having trouble breathing.

"Yes, something is wrong…" I decided to take the eviler of the two routes, though possible exposing myself to weakness.

His hand immediately stopped. He looked me in the eyes, his concern showing both there and in his voice. "What's wrong, my Roza?"

God, I loved it when he called me that. I suddenly felt the knot in my stomach replaced by something else. I recognized this feeling. Desire. Though it was more than just that. It was need. I needed to feel him touching me, kissing me. I needed him to tell me that he loved me. I knew this was wrong I shouldn't feel this way. But I couldn't help it! I love him!

"Roza?" he questioned still sounding worried. I realized I hadn't said anything since he asked what was wrong. I looked up into his beautiful brown eyes. I saw what I needed there. I saw the love he had for me. The concern that now filled them wanting me to be ok.

"Roza, please, tell me what's wrong." He said holding my shoulders still looking into my eyes.

With that I kissed him. He didn't kiss back at first, but soon started to. That made me feel like I'd won a small victory. One for Rose I thought as our kiss began to intensify. Then his stupid self-control started to kick in. I didn't want the kiss to end yet. I wrapped my arms around his neck in an attempt to keep him close to me. He pulled back though, stepping away from me. Damn that self control of his. I suddenly felt rejected. But this time….this time that rejection was going to drive me that much harder. I slide my robe off letting it fall to the floor revealing my see-through, tightish fitting nightgown, if you could call it that, and yes, I had worn a see-through thong that day as well. How convenient I thought to myself as I watched him. He looked down contemplating what to do.

"Rose…you know we can't." He said still not looking at me. I didn't know how to tell him how much I wanted….needed this without showing how desperate I really was for him. For him to accept me, and give my body what it yearned for. Ah, hell.

"I love you." I said. Screw my pride. I needed him. "I need you."

He looked up at me taking in my practically naked body slowly as he raised his eyes to meet mine. I could see it in his eyes. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

"I love you too, my Roza." Is all he said.

Hearing him call me that made my heart flutter again. I moved closer to him. We started kissing again too. Gently at first but slowly becoming deeper. He slowly slid his hands down my body to the bottom of my so-called top, causing me to shiver from the heat it caused. He grabbed the bottom, still slowly bring it up. I raised my arms up so he could bring it over my head and arms. I realized I only had on my thong now and yet he was staring into my eyes. Showing me how much he loved me.

I stared back trying to show him how much I loved him too. I slowly began lowering my hands though they trembling terribly. Yeah, I was nervous. I reached the top of his pants getting my fingers in them and began sliding them down, while still looking him in the eye. I was breathing so hard, and smiled inside at hearing his breathing also fast and labored. Once his pants were down far enough I let them drop. And yes, my self-control was not as good as his and I looked down. He wore a pair of black, tight boxers which revealed he really did want me. Mind And body. I looked up to see a small smirk on his face as he watched me. I think he was laughing inside at my lack of control. And maybe that I was kind of a little bit starring. But now he looked down, gently caressing my breast with his hand as he did so. He began kissing me again, this time it was different. It was so full of passion and need I felt like I could die of happiness. This felt so right. He pressed close to me while still kissing me and I let a small moan slip as I felt him pressing against my stomach. I felt almost stupid at first for reacting that way but that feeling died fast as I felt him grow even more. Once again he slid his hands down my body but this time to remove the last bit of clothing I had on. Once removed he walked me over to the bed holding my hand. I slid in wishing I could sleep here every night with him. He looked at me and my body a moment before removing his boxers and joining me. I could see the hunger in his eyes. He got on top of me kissing me with such passion. He was soft and gentle with me, knowing it was my first time, and more than welcome to let me be in control if I wanted. I was more than happy to take the lead trying to give him as much pleasure and love as he was giving me. We ended with him on top, slowly and carefully giving me what I had wanted. What we both had wanted.

We laid there a long while just holding each other. I wanted to stay like this forever. I glanced at the clock immediately wishing I hadn't. Dimitri followed my gaze also realizing I needed to get back downstairs to my room before other started getting up.

"I love you Roza." He said kissing me. "I promise I won't let anything ever happen to you."

"I love you too," I replied knowing my next words should not be said. "And I promise not to let anything ever happen to you."

I slowly got up and started putting my pajamas back on. Dimitri got up and helped while placing kisses all over my body.

"No practice this morning." he said stroking my face.

"What? Why?" I started to protest but he cut me off before I could say more.

"You're tired my Roza. You need the extra sleep. Plus, we'll still have practice later in the day." He replied kissing me sweetly.

I wanted to argue but I knew he was right. I was really tired. I agreed as we kissed goodbye again. I snuck back down to my room feeling so happy inside. Everything that had happened had felt so right. I crawled into my bed and fell asleep almost immediately.

**If people want more, please leave comments or I'll assume I suck at writting and not write anymore. Thanks**


	3. Chapter 3

**So once again. I do not own any of this.**

I woke up late. I only had time to grab a granola bar while running to my first class at top speed.

Once I got safely in my seat my mind starting thinking back to last night. I couldn't believe that had really happened. I thought of Dimitri kissing me… touching me all over… _No. I can't think about this now_ I told myself. My mind kept drifting to what had happened though. The whole day was like that. But finally….Practice.

I practically ran to the gym hardly telling Lissa bye. Once I was almost there I slowed down to catch my breath. I hope I looked half way decent today…

I entered the gym and went to change and put my hair up. I had decided that a little make-up wouldn't hurt and had borrowed some from Lissa earlier. Since I rarely wore it I didn't have much. I quickly applied some mascara, eye-liner, and an eye shadow Lissa had picked for me, saying it complimented my hair and eyes. Lastly I put on the lip gloss Dimitri had given me the day of our shopping trip to Missoula. I was so glad I had used it sparely. After I thought I looked good enough I took a deep breath and walked out. As soon as I saw Dimitri standing there my heart fluttered again and my mind went back to last night. I saw him observing my face, no doubtedly taking in my newly done make-up, and body. I had also decided to wear a pair of So-against-the-dress- code shorts and a sports bra. He looked as though he was thinking about last night too… And maybe the current exposure of my body as well.

When I finally reached him I smiled. "What's up comrade?" I asked him playfully.

"Rose…we need to talk." He said with a straight face.

"I knew this would happen! You'd say what we did was wrong!" Before he could even respond I started attacking him. I got one blow in before he realized what I was doing.

"I don't think it was wrong." He said while blocking most of my hits. "Please stop Rose."

I stopped. "You don't?"

"No. I don't. I love you Roza. I want to be with you and I'm as sure about that as I was about becoming a guardian." My heart fluttered again. "But" he continued, "We cannot act like it. For one, you're underage And I'm you're mentor." He paused another moment. "And about the guardian part…well I've figured it out."

Wow. This is so not what I was expecting by his first words. I smiled.

"Really? You did?" I asked happily.

"Yes…but…well Lissa's going to be living at court you see….So I figured if I could get assigned to another moroi at court we could be together more." My heart sunk. "It's the only way….Lissa needs two guardians that are completely dedicated to her. And we'll be near each other still. Besides, in a secure place like that, guardians' schedules are more flexible."

I knew he was right. There was no way we could completely be together all the time. I decided I'd just have to live with it.

"Well…at least this way we can take time off at the same time." I said.

"Yes, we can. Now, practice?" he asked. And with that he turned into my mentor. And man, was my mentor checking me out.

**So... I hope to get at least 5 more reviews before I post chapter 5. I do have chapter 4 almost ready. But if I don't get 5 more reviews the story will end there. Don't mean to be greedy :D But I like reviews. Even if you have suggestions for the story. I'll take those too. Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Since I got a bunch of reviews already tonight I decided I'd put up chapter 4 right away. This one is a shorter chapter but the next one will be longer. Promise.**

When we were done Dimitri said he had to go take the next shift. As he was walking away I couldn't resist…I leaped at him this time leaving out the battle cry, recalling last time.

He turned around and caught me slamming me to the ground holding my wrists.

"I hoped you were going to do that." He said with a smile breaking onto his face.

My heart tightened seeing that smile. Before I could smile back though he started kissing me. His body was pressed against mine again and note gently.

I finally broke the kiss. "Are you sure you have that shift now?"

He sighed and began to pull himself up. _No! That is Not what I wanted!_

"Rose… You're almost 18 and well… a lot of people won't be happy about this." I knew he was right. People wouldn't like our relationship. Damn it. "Until then we have to…keep our distance." Damn it. Right again.

"Can we at least keep our practices?" I hoped he would say yes.

He thought about it a minute. "Yes. Those can still be beneficial."

Yes! At least a small victory… And I could always use these to my advantage….

"Hey…I had a question for you about something. Come here." I said running to the storage closet. I glanced back to make sure he was coming before slipping in. I giggled thinking about his almost confused face and what was going to happen.

I quickly took off my sports bra. _Crap, I'm becoming a whore_ I thought to myself.

Dimitri started to come in, "What do…" He stopped surprised by what he saw. Yeah, he might have thought I was going to do Something, but he obviously didn't expect this.

I pulled him closer to me by his shirt and began kissing him. "Shut the door." I said between kisses.

He did and then started exploring the exposed part of my body with his hands. I let mine remove his shirt while still kissing him.

I started to move down to his pants but his hands suddenly caught mine, and he stopped kissing me.

"Rose!" He groaned. "We just discussed this. Not until you're 18." He kissed me replacing his shirt and handing me my bra.

He so wasn't getting off that easy. I knew it'd be hard to get him into a closet alone again.

I took his hand, which he let me, and slowly began rubbing it over my thigh. He gave in a little rubbing it making me feel the way no other man ever had. Even though he was technically the only man I'd ever been with. He kissed me too.

"Rose, put you're bra back on." He said simply while still kissing me. I didn't want him to stop so I did. "Good." He said as he pulled my leg up around his.

He kept kissing me like this a while longer before stopping and explaining how he really did have to go take his shift. I reluctantly let him go, but did so and returned to my dorm thinking about everything that had happened in the last 24 hours.

With Dimitri finally going to acknowledge out feelings and everyone going to find out soon, I decided I was going to have to tell Lissa. She would be upset I didn't tell her sooner…but even more upset if she found out from someone else.

"Tomorrow." I sighed, slowly drifting off to sleep again.

**So once again, thank you for the reviews. The more I get, the more motivated I am to write more and post them sooner. I also am one of those people who like awesome reviews, of course, but also the reviews that have constructive criticizm. I mean, don't just Criticize. If you don't like it, don't read it. But if you can tell me what exactly it is you don't like or think needs to be improved, please tell me. I write for 2 reasons. 1 because I like to, and 2 because I like to give the readers what they want. So just be specific about what you think needs improvement. Even give me ideas. And yes, I do love reviews. So...Review! Thank you all!**

**P.S. Eta Carinae1: Please tell me what parts you didn't like and what parts of my writing you think could be approved. Thanks ^^**


	5. Chapter 5

**So this chapter is more about Lissa and her reaction. There were a couple different ways I could have done it and hopefully I went with the most realistic one. **

The next day when I went to practice there was a tension between Dimitri and I. Sexual tension to be more exact. However, to my disappointment, we were not alone in the gym today. That forced me to behave…though secretly giving my mentor some sexy looks and accidentally brushing against him here and there. Then I went to class. Same old, same old. At least I'd be starting my field experience soon. Finally it was lunch time. I knew I'd have to tell Lissa soon. We wouldn't have much time together besides lunch and some classes before I was sent back to my prison of a room. I figured the sooner the better.

Today we ate lunch first before going to the feeders. Once we were done eating we headed off together and I figured now was probably the most private chance I'd get to tell her.

"Lissa…" I started.

"Yeah, Rose?" She asked sensing the hesitation in my voice.

"Well….there's something I need to tell you…" I can't believe I'm finally going to have to tell her.

"What is it? Is something wrong?"

"Well… I… It's about…" Damn it. How do I freaking say this? "I'm in love." I blurred my words together speaking so fast.

"What? Are you serious? No, you can't be. You never flirt with any guys in order to…" Then she realized that was why I didn't flirt with any guys. "But who? And why didn't you tell me sooner?!" I sensed her irritation through the bond.

"I couldn't tell Anyone. And… it's … well… wrong. I shouldn't've even started to like him."

"Who?!"

I leaned in closer to her to whisper as quietly as I could. "Dimitri."

I swear I could see it click in her head. All of the little pieces finally fitting together.

"Why… didn't you tell me Rose?" She looked hurt but yet her voice sounded like it had an understanding in it. "You know I would have understood."

"I know Lissa. At first everything was just so hectic…And I knew I shouldn't like him. Then when I could have told you… I don't know. I just couldn't. And not because I shouldn't feel this way and not because I don't trust you. I just… couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't tell anyone. I'm sorry Liss. And please! You can't tell anyone."

We continued to the feeders without speaking. After she got some blood in her I felt her loosen up a bit. She had been thinking about why I didn't tell her. She knew no one could know about it, but she was still upset I hadn't told her. She felt like I didn't trust her anymore.

On our way to class I decided I needed to lighten up the mood.

"So… you want to double date now? We can have a moon-lit dinner in the gym. You, me, Christian, and your guardian for protection…at least for you. I'll get to flirt while you make-out. Just like the old times eh?" I asked playfully jabbing her with my elbow. I didn't particularly like Christian, but if it would get her in a better mood I was all for it.

"I'm sure all you'd be doing is flirting. Christian and I might have to be guarding you so you don't go make-out crazy with your new boyfriend." And just like that we laughed off another little fight. That's what I loved about our relationship. No matter how bad it was, eventually with the right jokes, everything would be ok again.

We got to class and I could tell it was killing Lissa to stay silent. She had so many questions to ask me. "How'd it happen? Did you know right away? Did we ever mess around…? Did we have sex yet?" At the thought of sex her mind drifted to Christian. Yeah, definitely time to block out her thoughts.

When our first class was over, even though she had forgotten about her thoughts from before, I hadn't, and I needed to reassure her. "Lissa, you know I trust you. I trust you more than anyone else."

"I know Rose." She hugged me and I could tell she really did mean it.

While we walked to our next class she bombarded me with questions. I had to tell her to keep her voice down multiple times. I couldn't believe how excited she was I had finally found someone.

When our last class was done she finally asked the one question that had kept popping up in her mind. If we had sex. Reluctantly I told her yes.

"Really? Wow, you really do love him. Was it awesome? I mean he is older and more experienced." She asked.

"Lissa! I can't believe you just asked that!"

"Hey," She gave me an evil look. "If you get to see what happens when I do, I think it's only fair you have to share the details."

"I am So not. Besides, I have to get to practice."  
"Riiight. Practice." She winked. "Don't have too much fun!" She yelled after me as I started running off to the gym.

Wow, that so wasn't what I was expecting. I got to the gym and opened the door. Shit. Neither was this.

There was Dimitri, beating a punching bag. Normally this would be fairly normal, but today? No. Why? Because today he was shirtless. All he had on was a pair of light running pant. His hair was also tied back at his neck.

Oh. My. God. I gawked at him, my mouth hanging open. I couldn't believe he wasn't wearing a shirt. And in public! Around me….

He turned and saw me staring. He smiled slyly. _Smile Back! _I told myself trying to do something besides looking like a total idiot.

I saw him hold back a laugh as I finally managed a smile. My face turned red. _Way to go Rose_. Even after all we've been through, I couldn't believe seeing him without a shirt could have this kind of effect on me! I quickly looked away and practically ran to the locker room to change. And hid my embarrassment.

When I went out into the gym Dimitri was still shirtless. Wow… I still couldn't believe he actually had it off.

He didn't say anything about my reaction and neither did I. He started me off with running of course. I kept glancing at his God-like chest, and hard abs.

When we were finally done running we started doing some one-on-one combat training. I kept looking at his naked chest and he kept knocking me to the ground.

"You're letting yourself be distracted Rose." He finally spoke knocking me to the ground for the billionth time.

"It's your fault." I retorted getting up. "I don't think I've been knocked down this many times since my first days back here."

"It's your own fault. Stop allowing yourself to be distracted."

"But I want to be distracted."

"Rose, what if a hot strigoi was attacking you without a shirt?"

"I'd kill him. And they wouldn't be as hot as you."

"What if I was a shirtless strigoi trying to kill you and Lissa?"

No way would I think about him being strigoi. I won't ever let that happen.

I swung my arm at his head while trying to knock his legs over with one of mine. It didn't work but he got the message. We continued fighting and knowing, in his stupid reasonable way, that he was right, I stopped allowing myself to be distracted. Which, might I add, was the harder of the two things.

"Good job Roza." Dimitri said when we were done.

I loved when he complimented me. His chest was still exposed and I instinctively moved towards it. He stopped me, grabbing me by my shoulders.

"No Rose. We discussed this. We can't. At least not yet."

I gave up easily tonight. After being thrown down so many times, I was pretty sore. I sighed and went to turn around to go change. But as I started to turn Dimitri kept me facing him and suddenly his lips were on mine.

I wasn't really expecting it, but I sure as hell welcomed it. He pulled away too soon though, saying goodnight and leaving. I went to the locker room and changed back into my clothes still thinking about how his lips felt on mine. Then I headed out going back to my dorm. When I was almost there I saw someone.

_No... This can't be real…_

The one person I thought I'd never see again was standing in front of me.

Mason.

**Just so you all know, I am going to try to keep it similar to the actual book. At least the main parts ;) Sorry this isn't my best writting though :( I was told it was kinda boring but I couldn't think of anyway to make it better. I'll make the next one more exciting though.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter out. I've had some writers block and I've been busy. Painting my room! Yay! There is quite a bit in this chapter from the book, just because that's how it would still go. Save for some parts here and there. **

His body was translucent. Hard to see clearly. Like he was standing in a cloudy haze.

He wore the same clothes as last time I saw him. Jeans and a yellow fleece jacket with a green sweater sticking out the top. His hair was a washed-out orange color and his face looked so sad. His eyes….held such sadness. Looking in those eyes I remembered him dying…his neck being snapped and his limp body falling to the floor.

He slowly raised his hand towards me, opening him mouth as if trying to say something. I couldn't help but stare. His fingers moved as if beckoning me to him. And with that I snapped.

This couldn't be real. Mason was dead. I started backing away._ No. This isn't real_, I told myself over and over. I started to run.

I ran to my dorm slamming the door behind me. I went to my bed sitting down, shaking all over.

What the hell was that? That could Not have been real. Absolutely no possible way that just happened. Mason was Dead. And the dead do Not come back. Well except me, but that was a different situation.

I must've imagined it. Yes, that's it. I'm just overly tired. I lay in bed, trying to sleep but of course all I could think of was Mason. Those sad eyes asking me how I could have let him die. Ugh! I need to go get some fresh air.

I got up and snuck outside easily making it past the "security".

As soon as I got outside the cold air was like a slap in the face. I needed that. I felt more away and everything felt real now. I Had imagined whatever it was I saw earlier.

"Are you sleepwalking?" A voice came from behind me.

I spun around to see Dimitri. He was watching me with an amused and curious expression on his face. Damn. I thought I got out here undetected.

"Testing dorm security." I said, "It sucks."

He held back yet another smile, like always. Looking at him I saw him long leather coast and how warm it looked. I on the other hand was starting to freeze to death.

Seeing me eye his coat he said, "You must be freezing, do you want my coat?"

I shook my head even though I Was freezing. "I'm ok. What are you doing out here anyways? Are you testing security too?"

"I Am security. This is my watch." He slid off his coat and placed it around my shoulders. I inhaled his delicious scent automatically. God, I loved the way he smelled. I immediately felt warmer. And safe.

"Well, good work," I said. "I'm glad I was able to help test your awesome skills. I should be going now." I started to turn.

"Rose-" Dimitri's hand caught my arm, and even though I still had on his coat, his touch caused heat coursing through my body. He released me almost immediately, as he too had felt the exchange of heat. "What are you really doing out here?"

He was using the stop fooling around voice, so I gave him as truthful an answer as I could. "I couldn't sleep so I thought a walk outside might help."

"And so you just rushed out. Breaking the rules didn't even cross your mind- and neither did putting on a coat."

"Yeah," I said. "That pretty much sums it up."

"Rose, Rose." This time his voice was exasperated. "You never change. Always jumping in without thinking."

"That's not true," I protested. "I've changed a lot."

The amusement on his face suddenly faded, his expression growing troubled. HE studied me for several moments. Sometimes I felt as though those eyes could see into my soul. "You're right. You have changed."

He didn't seem very happy about the admission. He was probably thinking about what had happened almost three weeks ago. When Mason had gotten killed by two strigoi, and me then killing those strigoi. He probably noticed my darker outlook on life now, as others had begun to. I didn't like to see Dimitri concerned though, so I played off his observation with a joke.

"Well, don't worry. My birthday's coming up. As soon as I'm 18, I'll be an adult, right? I'm sure I'll wake up that morning and be all mature and stuff."

As I'd hoped, his frown softened into a small smile. "Yes, I'm sure. What is it, about a month?"

"31 days," I announced primly.

"Not that you're counting."

I shrugged, and he laughed.

"I suppose you've made a birthday list too. Ten pages? Single-spaced? Ranked by priority?" The smile was still on his face. It was one of the relaxed, genuinely amused ones that were so rare to him.

I could only think of one thing I wanted. "No," I said in a small voice. "No list. There's only one thing I want."

He knew what I meant. He always did.

"Soon…" he started, then changed the subject. "You still look cold. Let's go. I'll sneak you in through the back."

I couldn't help but be surprised, Dimitri was rarely one to break the rules, or avoid sort-of-uncomfortable topics.

"I think you're the one who's cold." I teased as we walked to the side of the dorm where novice guardians lived. "Shouldn't you be all tough and stuff, since you're from Siberia?"

"I don't think Siberia's exactly what you imagine."

"I imagine it an arctic wasteland," I said truthfully.

"Then it's definitely not what you imagine."

"Do you miss it?" I asked, glancing back to where he walked behind me. It was something I'd never considered before. In my mind, _everyone_ would want to live in the U.S. Or, well, they at least wouldn't want to live in Siberia.

"All the time," he said, his voice a little wistful. "Sometimes I wish-"

"Belikov!"

A voice was carried on the wind from behind us. Dimitri muttered something, and then shoved me further around the corner I'd just rounded. "Stay out of sight."

I ducked down behind a bank of holly trees that flanked the building. They didn't have any berries, but the think clusters of sharp, pointed leaves scratched where my skin was exposed. Considering the freezing temperature and possible discovery of my late-night walk, a few scratches were the least of my problems right now.

"You're not on watch," I heard Dimitri say several moments later.

"No, but I needed to talk to you." I recognized the voice. It belonged to Alberta, captain of the Academy's guardians. "It'll just take a minute. We need to shuffle some of the watches while you're at the trial."  
"I figured," he said. There was a funny, almost uncomfortable note in his voice. "It's going to put a strain on everyone else- bad timing."

"Yes, well, the queen runs on her own schedule." Alberta sounded frustrated, and I tried to figure out what was going on. "Celest will take your watches and she and Emil will divide up your training times."

Training times? Dimitri wouldn't be conducting and trainings next week because- Ah. That was it, I realized. The field experience. Tomorrow kicked off six weeks of hands-on-practice for us novices. We'd have no classes and would get to protect Moroi night and day while the adults tested us. The "training times" must be when Dimitri wouldn't be practicing in that. But what was this trial she'd mentioned? Did they mean like the final trials we had to undergo at the end of the school year?

"They say they don't mind the extra work," continued Alberta, "but I was wondering if you could even things out and take some of their shifts before you leave?"

"Absolutely," he said, words still short and stiff.

"Thanks. I think that'll help." She sighed. "I wish I knew how long this trial was going to be. I don't want to be away that long. You'd think it'd be a done deal with Dashkov, but now I hear the queen's getting cold feet about imprisoning a major royal."

I stiffened. The chill running through me now had nothing to do with the winder day. _Dashkov?_

"I'm sure they'll do the right thing," said Dimitri. I realized at that moment why he wasn't saying much. This wasn't something I was supposed to hear.

"I hope so. And I hope it'll only take a few days, like they claim. Look, it's miserable out here. Would you mind coming into the office for a second to look at the schedule?"

"Sure," he said. "Let me grab go grab my coat quick. I forgot it earlier."

"All right. See you soon."

Silence fell, and I had to assume Alberta was walking away. Sure enough, Dimitri rounded the corner and stood in front of the holly. I shot up from my hiding spot. The look on his face told me he already knew what was coming.

"Rose-"

"Dashkov?" I exclaimed, trying to keep my voice low so Alberta wouldn't hear. "As in Victor Dashkov?"

He didn't bother with denying it. "Yes. Victor Dashkov."

"And you guys were talking about … do you mean…" I was so startled, so dumbstruck, that I could barely get my thoughts together. This was unbelievable. "I thought he was locked up! Are you saying he hasn't been on trial yet?"

Yes. This was definitely unbelievable. Victor Dashkov. The guy who'd stalked Lissa and tortured her mind and body in order to control her powers. Every Moroi could use magic in one of the four elements: earth, air, water, or fire. Lissa, however, worked an almost unheard of fifth element called spirit. She could heal anything-including the dead. It was the reason I was now psychically linked to her- "shadow-kissed," some called it. She's brought me back from the car accident that had killer her parents and brother, binding us together in a way that allowed me to feel her thoughts and experiences.

Victor has learned long before any of us that she could heal, and he'd wanted to lock her away and use her as his own personal Fountain of Youth. He also hasn't hesitated to kill anyone who got in his way- or, in the case of Dimitri and me, use more creative ways to stop his opponents. I'd made a lot of enemies in seventeen years, but I was pretty sure there was no one I hated as much as Victor Dashkov-at least among the living.

Dimitri had a look on his face I knew well. It was the one he got when he thought I might punch someone. "He's been locked up-but no, no trial yet. Legal proceedings sometimes take a long time."

"But there's going to be a trial now? And you're going?" I spoke though clenched teeth, trying to be calm. I suspected I still had the I'm going to punch someone look on my face.

"Next week. They need me and some of the other guardians to testify about what happened to you and Lissa that night." His expression changed at the mention of what had occurred four months ago, and again, I recognized the look. It was the pierce, protective one he got when those he cared about were in danger.

"Call me crazy for asking this, but, um, are Lissa and I going with you?" I had already guessed the answer, and I didn't like it.

"No."

"No?"

"No."

I put my hands on my hips. "Look, doesn't it seem reasonable that if you're going to talk about what happened to _us_, then you should have _us_ there?"

Dimitri, fully in strict-instructor mode now, shook his head. "The queen and some of the other guardians thought it'd be best if you didn't go. There's enough evidence between the rest of us, and besides, criminal or not, he is-or was-one of the most powerful royals in the world. Those who know about this trial want to keep it quiet."

"So, what, you thought if you brought us, we'd tell everyone?" I exclaimed. "Come on, comrade. You really think we'd do that? The only thing we want is to see Victor locked up. Forever. Maybe longer. And if there's a chance he might walk free, you have to let us go."

After Victor had been caught, he'd been taken to prison, and I'd thought that was where the story had ended. I'd figured they'd locked him up to rot. It had never occurred to me-thought it should have- that he'd need a trial first. At the time, his crimes had seemed so obvious. But, although the Moroi government was secret and separate from the human one, it operated in a lot of the same ways. Due process and all that.

"It's not my decision to make," Dimitri said.

"But you have influence. You could speak up for us, especially if…" Some of my anger dimmed just a little, replaced by a sudden and startling fear. I almost couldn't say the next words. "Especially if there really is a chance he might get off. Is there? Is there really a chance the queen could let him go?"

"I don't know. There's no telling what she or some of the other high-up royals will do sometimes." He suddenly looked tired. He took me around to the door and opened it stepping inside with me, "Look, I know you're upset, but we can't talk about it now. I have to go meet Alberta. I'll try…and I need my jacket."

Even though I Was upset, I was caught up with the look in his eyes at the moment. Those big brown eyes looking at me with such caring, and how close we were standing at the moment. Just inches apart…

"Then take it," I said my breath starting to quicken.

He gently reached behind me and slid it off. I liked him taking off my clothing. Any kind. Even if it was his.

"I love you Roza." He started kissing me intensely. I kissed back and he moved his hand behind my neck, deepening the kiss. When he finally pulled away we were both out of breath.

"Go now, and I promise I will Try, but that's it. No guarantees."

Even though I was upset about the whole thing, his kiss had put me almost in a trance. It was all I could think about. "Ok." I turned and began to walk away when he spanked me.

I spun around quickly. What the hell? He had an amused smile on his face. I just had a stupid :o look on my face. He turned and went to go meet Alberta.

I returned to my room still thinking about Dimitri's kiss…and playful spank. That was a side he hadn't shown me before. Not until now… I wonder why. I smiled slyly. I liked it. And then I started to dream about him kissing me. And that playful side.

**I'm not sure if or how much farther I will go with this story. There's so much that would be similar and I'm not sure if I can change too much more of it since I would have the rest be basically the same but maybe not.... So we'll see how it goes trying to write the next chapter and what I decide. If you guys have any ideas, let me know. Thanks!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok guys, sorry it took so long to get this one. I wasn't feeling motivated this last week and stuff. Didn't know what to write and stuff. Hopefully I can update faster next time. I also wrote a M rated one-shot that's been posted and I wrote another one-shot I haven't posted yet but will soon. So you guys can check those out too if you want. And don't forget to review! Those too. So here we go. Hope you guys like it. Trying to stay close to the book but not completely the same. And if you guys didn't know :P This is/was my first fan fic. I almost forgot! Check out the bracelet on my profile page!**

* * *

Finally, today we will be assigned to our Moroi for our field experience. 6 weeks with Lissa. This is going to be great.

"Hey, Rose, ready to go?" Eddie called to me.

Only novices attended when we find out which Moroi who will protect.

As Eddie and I walked there, I couldn't help but think of Mason again. He and Eddie had been best friends and he was there in Spokanewith us when he died. True, he wasn't around all the time, but he had still been there. The Strigoi had used him as a type of feeder while they held us hostages, trying to get Christian or Mia to turn.

We had arrived and sat together just as they were starting.

"Good luck" I told Eddie, "hope you get someone good"

He smiled back at me as we listened to them explain how the field experience would work. Then, finally, they started announcing who would guard who.

"Edison Castile." Announced Alberta "Vasilisa Dragomir"

_What?! No. Lissa is My charge. I'm already going to be her guardian after we graduate._ Eddie looked at me quickly with an apologetic look before going up to get his packet.

_No. This must be a mistake. She was probably double signed! That's it. Eddie got her by mistake. Once they call her name again for me, this will be cleared up._

"Rosemarie Hathaway. Christian Ozera" Alberta spoke clearly again. _icouldn't be happening! I'm Lissa's guardian!_

_What? No! _"Rosemarie Hathaway" Alberta asked as I wasn't coming up. This

Eddie elbowed me, bringing me back to reality. I stood up and walked up to the front, taking the packet handed to me, marked Christian Ozera. This Must be a mistake. I went and sat back down. I'll clear this up after they're done.

I sat in silence, waiting for them to be done.

_Finally!_ I thought as they called the last person. Once everybody started leaving, I marched up front. Luckily, Alberta and Dimitri were standing next to each other.

"What is this?" I practically yelled.

"It's your charge" Alberta said smoothly.

"No, it's not. I'm Lissa's guardian. I'm supposed to have her for this!" I retorted.

"There are No guarantees you will be assigned to Lissa after you graduate. And as for your field experience, Christian is your Moroi" Alberta said coldly.

"I don't mind trading" Eddie piped up from beside me.

"No" Alberta said even colder. "There is no trading. You, Rosemarie, will take Christian as your Moroi as he will be the only one assigned to, or you will fail your assignment."

"This is as stupid as not taking us to Victor's trial." I spat.

"How did you know about… Never mind. You will accept Christian or fail.

"Fine" I said back icily.

"I will do it. But only because I have to. I want it marked I'm doing this against my will"

"That seems quite obvious already."

I turned and walked away more pissed than I think I have ever been in my entire life. I walked outside and of course the one person I didn't want to deal with shows up.

"What's wrong Little Dhampir?" Adrian asked stepping out from the show of the building.

"Go away Adrian. I do Not want to talk to you. Especially right now." I said while still walking away.

"Come on, it's good to talk about what's upsetting you." He pushed.

"No. It's not. Now leave me alone."

He stepped in front of me. "I'm not going away until you tell me."

Ugh! "I got assigned to Christian." I said impatiently as I just wanted him to go away. I could smell alcohol on his breath. Not to mention that he had been smoking.

"Well….that's not too bad. I mean Christian Will be with Lissa all the time." He said calmly.

"Damn it. He has a point there. "Well yeah, but still. I'm supposed to be Lissa's guardian."

"And you will be. At least this explains part of your aura."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it had a little extra darkness to it when I saw you come out. It's how I could tell you were upset."

"What does it look like?" I asked genuinely curious.

"It's dark… And its colors are swirling. It's edged in darkness…. Like there's a shadow following you."

I got shivers just listening to him say that…and I thought of Mason. "Is it….is that normal?"

"I've never seen anyone have an aura like yours."

Adrian stepped closer to me reaching his hand out to brush back a piece of my hair. I was too entranced by what he had said about my aura to stop him. _A shadow… Mason… but… that wasn't real… was it?_

"Eh hem," came a voice from behind us. "You shouldn't be hanging with an under aged girl in the shadows. Imagine what people would say if they saw you." Dimitri spoke to Adrian alone.

"Or you." Adrian replied referring to our secret he somehow knew. Somehow Adrian picked up on the chemistry between Dimitri and I that no one else did. Adrian reached to take my hand in an attempt to kiss it but I pulled back, now fully aware of what was happening. He didn't push it and subjected with a small bow of the head instead. "I'll see you later, Rose."

"I hope not." I mumbled.

Once he was out of hearing range Dimitri turned to me. "What was that about?"

"Nothing. He just followed me after I left."

"If it was nothing, than why was he standing so close to you? And… touching your hair."

It made me mad that Dimitri was accusing me of doing Anything with Adrian. Just the thought of it repulses me. "How dare you accuse me of Anything with him!? He ambushed me when I came out and then I told him about Christian which YOU knew about and didn't tell me! Then he started talking about my aura when you got here and…" Oh my God. I could imagine the shock splayed across my face as I figured out what this was really about. "You're jealous." I breathed.

He straightened up. I had gotten it right. He Was jealous. But he didn't want me to know that. "Listen Rose, we thought it'd be good for you. You won't always have the advantage of being able to tell when your Moroi is in trouble. Really, it's a handicap."

"No, it's not."

"Still as stubborn as ever. In any case Rose, it'll help Lissa. She's never been protected by anyone but you. She needs to learn how to be protected and communicate with a guardian who doesn't have a bond with her. It could help save her life someday."

I sighed, "I guess you're right."

"Of course I am," he said smiling. Just that smile lightened my mood.

"I can't believe you were jealous. And of Adrian!"

"I wasn't."

"Yes. You were."

"Rose, I can't allow myself to be jealous."

"And yet you are." I said pulling him behind a tree with me, still in the shadows.

"Rose!" he whispered.

I kissed him quickly shutting him up. He kissed me back quickly before pulling back.

"Rose!"

"What?"

"Not here." He winked.

I smiled. He smiled back almost evilly.

"I'll see you later Roza." Dimitri kissed me again biting my bottom lip while pulling away.

I didn't want him to go, but I let him. I knew I had to find Lissa and tell her. Just thinking about not guarding her again made me mad.

Dimitri just had a way to get me to understand at least while he was still around.

When I got to the cafeteria, Lissa was sitting alone and I walked even to her. I was pretty pissed again. I wanted to be her guardian!

She looked at me. "Oh my God! It's true! You really were assigned to Christian."

"Don't remind me"

"Hey there, buddy! Did you miss me?" Christian said walking up to us.

"Go to hell" I told him.

"Too late" He smiled at me. "Don't worry, Rosie, we'll get to stay up late telling ghost stories."

Christian mentioning ghosts made me think of Mason. Again. I need to stop thinking about that. It wasn't real.

"I need to get some food" I said getting up and walking up to the line.

"I'm sorry" Eddie said coming up next to me.

"Don' be. Just promise to protect her."

"I will."

Doughnuts! I went to grab the last one but Jesse Zeklos grabbed it before I got there.

"So, I heard you punched Guardian Petrov" He said through his doughnut stuffed mouth.

"Yeah, which is why I'm walking around campus Trying to get lunch. Right?"

At least I'm not protecting the Strigoi wanna-be" Ralf Sarcozy said, joining the conversation.

"He is Not a Strigoi wanna-be"

"His parents-"

"Are his parents. Not him. He's more dedicated to fighting Strigoi than most Moroi, including you."

"Better watch out, Jessie" Ralf said, "she might beat you up"

They laughed, "Yeah," Jessie replied, "If she wouldn't get kicked out"

"You wanna bet?" I stepped closer. "Kirova has been quite pleased with my work lately. I could add you to the list" They backed up a lot.

"Is there a problem here?" Dimitri asked appearing out of nowhere.

"Not at all, guardian Belikov" I said smiling. He had perfect timing.

"No" Ralf and Jessie said practically running off.

"Oh! Doughnuts!" I said rapidly grabbing one with frosting and sprinkles.

"Can we talk?" Dimitri asked.

"Sure. See ya, Eddie."

Dimitri and I walked out and deep into the woods. Finally I got to enjoy the first bite of my doughnut.

"Hey!" I yelled as Dimitri took my doughnut. "What the hell d you think you're doing?"

"Nothing" He said taking a big bite of My doughnut.

"Hey!" I jumped at him trying to grab my doughnut back. He raised his hand high above his head "Give it back!"

"Make me" He smiled.

Fine. Two can play at this game. I knocked him on his back jumping on top of him I grabbed my doughnut back.

"Thank you" I said proudly finishing my doughnut quickly so he wouldn't try to steal it back. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"Well… I have a surprise for you."

"Really?!"

"Yes, but…you have to close your eyes. And trust me."

"Ok. I do." I closed my eyes and smiled.

He look my hand and began leading me somewhere. I heard a door open and we stepped inside and it got dark. He closed the door and let my hand go. I was going to open my eyes but just before I did, "Not yet." Dimitri said.

I heard him start a fire and it got instantly brighter.

"Ok." He said softly. "Now you can."

I slowly opened my eyes. We were in the cabin. For some reason this turned me on. Maybe because it was Dimitri and I alone, away from everyone else… And there was a bed.

I looked around more. Tasha had made the place look decent since last time we were here.

"Why are we here…?" my voice was almost shaky as I wasn't sure if it was for sex. Not that I minded that.

He laughed. "Are you nervous Rose?"

"What? No. Of course not silly!" I ran my hand over his arm. He shivered.

"Rose….I brought you here because I got you something."

"Really?" I grinned. "What?"

"Well….even if we can't be together right now…" He took out a bracelet. It was white gold with tiny diamond-shaped diamonds. On the inside of a couple of the "bars" it said, "I will always love you Roza" in Russian. It also said "Strength" on one. (On Profile Page)

"I love you Roza. You're so, so strong. It's why I love you. And you… you are my strength. You are my reason for living now."

"Dimitri… it's… I…" I didn't know what to say.

He placed the bracelet on my wrist kissing my hand. "I will always love you Roza."

"I'll always love you too Dimitri. It's beautiful. It must have cost you a fortune though…"

"You're worth it Roza. You're worth everything to me."

"But…" And he started kissing me. This kiss was so passionate I got lost in it. The only two things that existed here him and me. Suddenly his phone rand causing us both to jump.

"Belikov…yes…be right there." He said into his phone.

"We have to go." I stated sadly.

"Sorry, but yes."

We held hands until we were coming back into visual range. We split directions too as I headed back to the cafeteria to find Lissa and Christian. They were just leaving and I ran to catch up with them. "Hey!" I said with a smile, in a happier mood after spending some time with Dimitri.

* * *

**Hope it was good. Please!!!! Review! I LOVE reviews! They did motivate me to keep working on it today and finish it. And suggestions. Not promising they'll be in there, but they might. I'll try. And they might help get a update sooner. So... thank you all SO much! Review and hopefully we'll get an update soon :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not mean to copy right. But this chapter is just the same how I would have it in my story. No changes needed. That's how great Richelle Mead is. So it's chapter 4 in the actual book. I'm just posting it for those of you who want to read and remind yourself of what it was. Just skim it for all I care :P We've all read it before. And if you don't want to read it, you can skip it. I'm posted the next chapter as well, which is me again. So…read or don't :P but make sure you read the NEXT chapter :D and review ofcourse.**

IT BEGAN.

At first, things weren't too different from any other day. Dhampirs and Moroi attended separate classes in the first half of the school day, then joined up after lunch. Christian had most of the same afternoon classes I'd had last semester, so it was almost like following my own schedule again. The difference was that I was no longer a student in these classes. I didn't sit at a desk or have to do any of the work. I was also a lot more uncomfortable since I had to stand at the back of the room the entire time, along with other novices who were guarding Moroi. Outside the

school, this was what it was usually like. Moroi came first.

Guardians were shadows.

There was a strong temptation to talk to our fellow novices, particularly during times when the Moroi were working on their own and talking amongst themselves. None of us cracked, though. The pressure and adrenaline of the first day had us all on good behavior. After biology, Eddie and I started using a bodyguard technique called pair guarding. I was near guard and walked with Lissa and Christian for immediate defense. Eddie, being far guard, walked farther away and scanned the larger area for any potential threats. We followed this pattern for the rest of the day, up until the last class came around. Lissa gave Christian a quick kiss on the cheek, and I realized they were parting.

"You guys don't have the same schedule this time?" I asked with dismay, stepping over to the side of the hall to stay out of student traffic. Eddie had already deduced that we were parting and had stopped far guard duties to come talk to us. I hadn't known how Lissa and Christian's schedules lined up for this new semester. Lissa took in my disappointed look and gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Sorry. We're going to study together after school, but right now, I've got to go to creative writing."

"And I," declared Christian loftily, "have to go to culinary science."

"Culinary science?" I cried. "You elected _culinary_

_science? _That's like the most brainless class ever."

"It is not," he countered. "And even if it was … well, hey,

it's my last semester, right?" I groaned.

"Come on, Rose," laughed Lissa. "It's just one class period. It won't be that—"

She was cut off when a commotion broke out farther down the hall. We and everyone near us stopped and stared. One of my guardian instructors, Emil, had practically appeared out of nowhere and—playing Strigoi—reached for a Moroi girl. He swung her away, pressing her to his chest and exposing her neck as though he would bite her. I couldn't see who she was, just a tangle of brown hair, but her assigned protector was Shane Reyes. The attack had caught him by surprise—it was the first one of the day—but he fumbled only a little as he kicked Emil

in the side and wrested the girl away. The two guys squared off, and everyone watched eagerly. A few even whistled and shouted, cheering Shane on.

One of the catcallers was Ryan Aylesworth. He was so fixated on watching the fight—which Shane, wielding his practice stake, had just about won—that he didn't notice two other adult guardians sneaking up on him and Camille. Eddie and I realized it at the same time and stiffened, instinct readying both of us to spring forward.

"Stay with them," Eddie told me. He headed toward Ryan and Camille, who had just discovered they were being set upon. Ryan didn't react as well as Shane had, particularly since he faced two attackers. One of the guardians distracted Ryan while the other—Dimitri, I now saw—grabbed Camille. She screamed, not faking her fear. She apparently didn't find being in Dimitri's arms as thrilling as I did. **(She Really must be crazy not to want to be in his arms!)** Eddie headed toward them, approaching from behind, and landed a blow on the side of Dimitri's head. It hardly fazed Dimitri, but I was still amazed. I'd barely ever been able to land a hit on him in all our trainings. Eddie's attack forced Dimitri to release Camille and face this new threat. He spun around, graceful as a dancer, and advanced on Eddie.

Meanwhile, Shane had "staked" his Strigoi and jumped in to help Eddie, moving around to Dimitri's other side. I watched, fists clenched in excitement, intrigued with the fighting in general and with watching Dimitri in particular. It amazed me that someone so deadly could be so beautiful. I wished I was part of the fray but knew I had to watch the area around me in case any "Strigoi" attacked they didn't. Shane and Eddie successfully "finished off" Dimitri.

Part of me was a little sad at this. I wanted Dimitri to be good at everything. However, Ryanhad tried to help and failed. Dimitri had technically "killed" him, so I felt a twisted comfort in thinking that Dimitri had still been a badass Strigoi. He and Emil praised Shane for being fast on his feet and Eddie for realizing we had to treat this as a group endeavor rather than one-on-one trials. I got a nod for watching Eddie's back, and Ryan was chastised for not paying attention to his Moroi. Eddie and I grinned at each other, happy over getting high marks on this first test. I wouldn't have minded a slightly bigger role, but this wasn't a bad start to the field experience. We highfived,

and I saw Dimitri shake his head at us as he left.

With the drama over, our foursome split up. Lissa gave me one last smile over her shoulder and spoke to me through the bond, _Have fun in culinary science! _I rolled my eyes, but she and Eddie had already rounded a corner.

"Culinary science" sounded pretty impressive, but really, it was just a fancy term for what was essentially a cooking class. Despite my teasing Christian about it being brainless, I had some respect for it. I could barely boil water, after all. Still, it was a lot different from an elective like creative writing or debate, and I had no doubts Christian was taking it as a blow-off class and not because he wanted to be a chef someday. At least I might get some satisfaction out of watching him mix a cake or something. Maybe he'd even wear an apron.

There were three other novices in the class who were guarding Moroi. Since the culinary science room was large and open, with lots of windows, the four of us worked together to come up with a plan to pool our efforts and secure the whole room. When I'd watched novices do their field experiences in past years, I'd only ever paid attention to the fights. I'd never noticed the teamwork and strategizing that must have been going on. Theoretically, the four of us were here to only protect our assigned Moroi, but we'd slipped into a role where we were

protecting the whole class.

My post was by a fire door that led outside of the school. Coincidentally, it was right by the station Christian was working at. The class normally cooked in pairs, but there was an odd number of students. Rather than work in a group of three, Christian had volunteered to be by himself. No one had seemed to mind. Many still regarded him and his family with the same prejudice that Jesse did. To my disappointment, Christian wasn't making a cake.

"What is that?" I asked, watching him take out a bowl of some kind of raw, ground-up meat from the refrigerator.

"Meat," he said, dumping it onto a cutting board.

"I know that, you idiot. What kind?"

"Ground beef." He pulled another container out and then another. "And this is veal. And this is pork."

"Do you have, like, a that you're going to feed?"

"Only if you want some. This is for meatloaf."

I stared. "With three kinds of meat?"

"Why eat something called meatloaf if you aren't actually

going to get some meat out of it?"

I shook my head. "I can't believe this is only the first day

with you."

He glanced down, focusing on kneading his tri-meat creation together. "You sure are making a big deal out of this. Do you really hate me that much? I heard you were screaming at

the top of your lungs back in the gym."

"No, I wasn't. And … I don't hate you at all," I admitted.

"You're just taking it out on me because you didn't get paired with Lissa."

I didn't answer. He wasn't that far off.

"You know," he continued, "it might actually be a good idea for you to practice with someone different."

"I know. That's what Dimitri says too."

Christian put the meat into a bowl and started adding someother ingredients. "Then why question it? Belikov knows what he's doing. I'd trust anything he says. It sucks that they're going to lose him after we graduate, but I'd rather see him with Lissa."

"Me too."

He paused and looked up, meeting my eyes. We bothvsmiled, amused at how shocked we were to have agreed withveach other. A moment later, he returned to his work.

"You're good too," he said, not _too _grudgingly. "The way you handled yourself…"

He didn't finish the thought, but I knew what he was talking about. Spokane. Christian hadn't been around when I killed the Strigoi, but he'd been instrumental in helping with the escape. He and I had teamed up, using his fire magic as a means of letting me subdue our captors. We'd worked well together, all of our animosity put aside. "I guess you and I have better things to do than fight all the time," I mused. Like worry about Victor Dashkov's trial, I

realized. For a moment, I considered telling Christian what I'd learned. He'd been around the night it had all gone down with Victor last fall, but I decided not to mention the news just yet. Lissa needed to hear it first.

"Yup," Christian said, unaware of my thoughts. "Brace yourself, but we aren't that different. I mean, I'm smarter and a lot funnier, but at the end of the day, we both want to keep her safe." He hesitated. "You know…I'm not going to take her away from you. I can't. No one can, not as long as you guys have that bond."

I was surprised he'd brought this up. I honestly suspected that there were two reasons he and I argued a lot. One was that we both had personalities that liked to argue. The other reason— the big one—was that we were each envious of the other's relationship with Lissa. But, as he'd said, we really had the same motives. We cared about her.

"And don't think the bond will keep you guys apart," I said. I knew the link bothered him. How could you ever get romantically close to someone when they had that kind of connection with another person, even if that other person was just a friend? "She cares about you. …" I couldn't bring myself to say "loves." "She has a whole separate place for you in her heart."

Christian put his dish in the oven. "You did _not _just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other." He was trying to look disgusted at my sentiment, but I could tell he liked being told that Lissa cared about him.

"I already have a nickname for you, but I'll get in trouble if I say it in class."

"Ah," he said happily. _"That's _the Rose I know."

He went off to talk to another friend while his meatloaf cooked, which was probably just as well. My door was a vulnerable position, and I shouldn't have been chatting away, even if the rest of the class was. Across the room, I saw Jesse and Ralf working together. Like Christian, they'd chosen a blow-off class too.

No attacks occurred, but a guardian named Dustin did come in to make notes on us novices as we held our positions. He was standing near me right when Jesse chose to stroll by. At first, I thought it was a coincidence—until Jesse spoke.

"I take back what I said earlier, Rose. I figured it out. You aren't upset because of Lissa or Christian. You're upset because the rules say you have to be with a student, and Adrian Ivashkov's too old. The way I hear it, you guys have already had a lot of practice watching each other's bodies."

That joke could have been so much funnier, but I'd learned not to expect too much from Jesse. I knew for a fact that he didn't care about Adrian and me. I also suspected he didn't even believe we had anything going on. But Jesse was still bitter about me threatening him earlier, and here was his chance to get back at me. Dustin, standing within earshot, had no interest in Jesse's idiotic teasing. Dustin would probably have an interest, however, if I slammed Jesse's face into the wall.

That didn't mean I had to be silent, though. Guardians talked to Moroi all the time; they just tended to be respectful and still keep an eye on their surroundings. So I gave Jesse a small smile and simply said, "Your wit is always such a delight, Mr. Zeklos. I can barely contain myself around it." I then turned away and surveyed the rest of the room.

When Jesse realized I wasn't going to do anything else, he laughed and walked away, apparently thinking he'd won some great victory. Dustin left shortly thereafter.

"Asshole," muttered Christian, returning to his station. Class had about five minutes left.

My eyes followed Jesse across the room. "You know something, Christian? I'm pretty happy to be guarding you."

"If you're comparing me to Zeklos, I don't really take that as much of a compliment. But here, try this. Then you'll really be glad you're with me."

His masterpiece was finished, and he gave me a piece. I hadn't realized it, but just before the meatloaf had gone in, he'd wrapped it in bacon.

"Good God," I said. "This is the most stereotypical vampire food ever."

"Only if it was raw. What do you think?"

"It's good," I said reluctantly. Who knew that bacon would make all the difference? "Really good. I think you have a promising future as a housewife while Lissa works and makes millions of dollars."

"Funny, that's exactly my dream."

We left the class in lighter moods. Things had grown more friendly between us, and I decided that I could handle the next six weeks protecting him.

He and Lissa were going to meet in the library to study— or pretend to study—but he had to stop by his dorm first. So I followed him across the quad, back into the winter air that had grown chillier since sunset seven hours ago. The snow on the paths, which had turned slushy in the sun, had now frozen up and made walking treacherous. Along the way, we were joined by Brandon Lazar, a Moroi who lived in Christian's hall.

Brandon could barely contain himself, recapping a fight he'd witnessed in his math class. We listened to his rendition, all of us laughing at the thought of Alberta sneaking in through the window.

"Hey, she might be old, but she could take on almost any of us," I told them. I gave Brandon a puzzled look. He had bruises and red splotches on his face. He also had a few weird welts near his ear. "What happened to you? Have you been fighting guardians too?"

His smile promptly disappeared, and he looked away from

me. "Nah, just fell."

"Come on," I said. Moroi might not train to fight like dhampirs did, but they got in brawls with each other just as often as anyone else. I tried to think of any Moroi he might have a conflict with. For the most part, Brandon was pretty likeable.

"That's the lamest, most unoriginal excuse in the world."

"It's true," he said, still avoiding my eyes.

"If someone's screwing with you, I can give you a few pointers."

He turned back to me, locking eyes. "Just let it go." He wasn't hostile or anything, but there was a firm note in his voice. It was almost like he believed saying the words alone would make me obey him.

I chuckled. "What are you trying to do? Compel me—"

Suddenly, I saw movement on my left. A slight shadow blending in with the dark shapes of a cluster of snowy pine trees—but moving just enough to catch my attention. Stan's face emerged from the darkness as he sprang toward us.

Finally, my first test. Adrenaline shot through me just as strongly as if a real Strigoi were approaching. I reacted instantly, reaching out to grab both Brandon and Christian. That was always the first move, to throw my own life before theirs. I jerked the two guys to a halt and turned toward my attacker, reaching for my stake in order to defend the Moroi— And that's when he appeared.

Mason.

He stood several feet in front of me, off to Stan's right, looking just as he had last night. Translucent. Shimmering. Sad. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I froze, unable to move or finish going for my stake. I forgot about what I'd been doing and completely lost track of the people and commotion around me. The world slowed down, everything fading around me. There was only Mason—that ghostly, shimmering Mason who glowed in the dark and seemed like he so badly wanted to tell me something. The same feeling of helplessness I'd experienced in Spokane returned to me. I hadn't been able to help him then. I couldn't help him now. My stomach turned cold and hollow. I could do nothing except stand there, wondering what he was trying to say.

He lifted one translucent hand and pointed off toward the other side of campus, but I didn't know what it meant. There was so much over there, and it wasn't clear what he was pointing at. I shook my head, not understanding but desperately wishing I could. The sorrow on his face seemed to grow. Suddenly, something slammed into my shoulder, and I stumbled forward. The world suddenly started up again, snapping me out of the dreamy state I'd just been in. I only barely managed to throw out my hands in time to stop myself from hitting the ground.

I looked up and saw Stan standing over me. "Hathaway!" he barked. "What are you doing?" I blinked,

still trying to shake off the weirdness of seeing Mason again. I felt sluggish and dazed. I looked into Stan's angry face and then glanced over at where Mason had been. He was gone. I turned my attention back to Stan and realized what had happened. In my distraction, I'd completely spaced while he'd staged his attack. He now had one arm around Christian's neck and one around Brandon's. He wasn't hurting them, but his point was

made.

"If I had been a Strigoi," he growled, "these two would be dead."

**And part of chapter 5 **

MOST DISCIPLINARY ISSUES AT the Academy went to Headmistress Kirova. She oversaw Moroi and dhampirs alike and was known for her creative and oft-used repertoire of punishments. She wasn't cruel, exactly, but she wasn't soft, either. She simply took student behavior seriously and dealt with it as she saw fit. There were some issues, however, that were beyond her jurisdiction.

The school's guardians calling together a disciplinary committee wasn't unheard of, but it was very, very rare. You had to do something pretty serious to piss them off to get that sort of response. Like, say, willfully endangering a Moroi. Or _hypothetically _willfully endangering a Moroi.

"For the last time," I growled, "I didn't do it on purpose." I sat in one of the guardians' meeting rooms, facing my committee: Alberta, Emil, and one of the other rare female guardians on campus, Celeste. They sat at a long table, looking imposing, while I sat in a single chair and felt very vulnerable. Several other guardians were sitting in and watching, but thankfully, none of my classmates were there to see this humiliation. Dimitri was among the watchers. He was not on the committee, and I wondered if they'd kept him off because of his potentially biased role as my mentor.

"Miss Hathaway," said Alberta, fully in her strict-captain mode, "you must know why we have a hard time believing that."

Celeste nodded. "Guardian Alto saw you. You refused to protect two Moroi—including the one whose protection you were specifically assigned to."

"I didn't refuse!" I exclaimed. "I… fumbled."

"That wasn't a fumble," said Stan from the watchers. He glanced at Alberta for permission to speak. "May I?" She nodded, and he turned back to me. "If you'd blocked or attacked

me and then messed up, that would be a fumble. But you didn't block. You didn't attack. You didn't even try. You just stood there like a statue and did nothing."

Understandably, I was outraged. The thought that I would purposely leave Christian and Brandon to be "killed" by a Strigoi was ridiculous. But what could I do? I either confessed to screwing up majorly or to having seen a ghost. Neither option was appealing, but I had to cut my losses. One made me look incompetent. The other made me look insane. I didn't want to be associated with either of those. I much preferred my usual description of "reckless" and "disruptive."

"Why am I getting in trouble for messing up?" I asked tightly. "I mean, I saw Ryan mess up earlier. He didn't get in trouble. Isn't that the point of this whole exercise? _Practice? _If we were perfect, you'd already have unleashed us upon the world!"

"Weren't you listening?" said Stan. I swore I could see a vein throbbing in his forehead. I think he was the only one there as upset as I was. At the very least, he was the only one (aside from me) showing his emotions. The others wore poker faces, but then, none of them had witnessed what had happened. If I'd been in Stan's place, I might have thought the worst of me too. "You didn't mess up, because 'messing up' implies that you have

to actually _do _something."

"Okay, then. I froze." I looked at him defiantly. "Does that count as messing up? I cracked under the pressure and blanked out. It turns out I wasn't prepared. The moment came, and I panicked. It happens to novices all the time."

"To a novice who has already killed Strigoi?" asked Emil.

He was from Romania, his accent a bit thicker than Dimitri's Russian one. It wasn't nearly as nice, though. "It seems unlikely."

I dealt out glares to him and everyone else in the room. "Oh, I see. After one incident, I'm now expected to be an expert Strigoi killer? I can't panic or be afraid or anything? Makes sense. Thanks, guys. Fair. Real fair." I slumped back in my seat, arms crossed over my chest. There was no need to fake bitchy defiance. I had plenty of it to dish out.

Alberta sighed and leaned forward. "We're arguing semantics. Technicalities aren't the point here. What's important is that this morning, you made it very clear you did not want to guard Christian Ozera. In fact … I think you even said you wanted us to be sure we knew that you were doing it against your will _and _that we'd soon see what a horrible idea it was."

Ugh. I _had _said that. Honestly, what had I been thinking? "And then, when your first test comes around, we find you completely and utterly unresponsive."

I nearly flew out of my chair. "That's what this is about? You think I didn't protect him because of some kind of weird revenge thing?"

All three of them stared at me expectantly.

"You aren't exactly known for calmly and gracefully accepting things you don't like," she replied wryly.

This time, I did stand up, pointing my finger at her accusingly. _"Not _true. I have followed every rule Kirova laid down for me since coming back here. I've gone to every practice and obeyed every curfew." Well, I'd fudged some of the curfews but not willfully. It had always been for the greater good. "There's no reason I'd do this as some kind of revenge! What good would it do? Sta— Guardian Alto wasn't going to really hurt Christian, so it's not like I'd get to see him punched or anything. The only thing I would accomplish is getting dragged into the middle of something like _this _and possibly facing removal from the field experience."

"You _are _facing removal from the field experience," Celeste flatly.

"Oh." I sat down, suddenly not feeling as bold. Silence hung in the room for several moments, and then I heard

Dimitri's voice speak from behind me.

"She has a point," he said. My heart thumped loudly in my chest. Dimitri knew I wouldn't take revenge like that. He didn't think I was petty. "If she were going to protest or take revenge, she'd do it in a different way." Well, not too petty, at least.

Celeste frowned. "Yes, but after the scene she made this morning…"

Dimitri took a few steps forward and stood beside my chair. Having his solid presence nearby comforted me. I had a flash of déjà vu, back to when Lissa and I had returned to the Academy last autumn. Headmistress Kirova had nearly expelled me, and Dimitri had stood up for me then too.

"This is all circumstantial," he said. "Regardless of how suspicious you think it looks, there's no proof. Removing her from the experience—and essentially ruining her graduation—is a bit extreme without any certainties."

The committee looked thoughtful, and I focused my attention on Alberta. She had the most power here. I'd always liked her, and in our time together, she'd been strict but always scrupulously fair. I hoped that would still hold true. She beckoned Celeste and Emil toward her, and the other two guardians leaned closer. They had a whispered conference.

Alberta gave a resigned nod, and the others leaned back.

"Miss Hathaway, do you have anything you'd like to say before we tell you our conclusions?"

That I'd _like _to say? Hell, yeah. There were tons of things. I wanted to say that I wasn't incompetent. I wanted to tell them that I was one of the best novices here. I wanted to tell them that I had seen Stan coming _and _had been on the verge of reacting. I especially wanted to tell them that I _didn't _want to have this mark on my record. Even if I stayed in the field experience, I'd essentially have an F for this first test. It would affect my overall grade, which could subsequently affect my future. But again, what choice did I have? Tell them that I'd seen a ghost? The ghost of a guy who'd had a major crush on me and who had quite likely died because of that crush? I still didn't know what was going on with these sightings. One time I could write off to exhaustion…but I'd seen him—or it—twice now. Was he real? My higher reasoning said no, but honestly, it didn't matter at the moment. If he was real and I told them, they'd think I was crazy. If he wasn't real and I told them, they'd think I was crazy—and they'd be right. I couldn't win here.

"No, Guardian Petrov," I said, hoping I sounded meek. "Nothing more to add."

"All right," she said wearily. "Here's what we've decided.

You're lucky you have Guardian Belikov to advocate for you, or this decision might have been different. We're giving you the benefit of the doubt. You'll go on with the field experience and continue to guard Mr. Ozera. You'll just be on a probation of sorts."

"That's okay," I said. I'd been on probation for most of my academic life. "Thank you."

"And," she added. _Uh-oh. _"Because the suspicion isn't entirely removed, you'll be spending your day off this week doing community service."

I jumped out of my chair again. "What?"

Dimitri's hand wrapped around my wrist, his fingers warm and controlling. "Sit down," he murmured in my ear, tugging me toward the chair. "Take what you can get."

"If that's a problem, we can make it next week too," warned Celeste. "And the next five after that."

I sat down and shook my head. "I'm sorry. Thank you."


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok. So here's chapter 9. The beginning Is from the book once again, but then it changes. As this story does ;) So hope you enjoy :D And review. Yes, this chapter is short….but I decided it was a good place to end :D I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. I donated blood yesterday—Red Cross of course – and I got a really bad bruise. And tomorrow I have to go into the school and get schedule stuff and just ew :P Then I'll be kinda busy tomorrow but hopefully I'll get it soon. **

The hearing dispersed, and I was left feeling weary and beaten. Had only one day gone by? Surely the happy excitement I'd felt before the field experience had been weeks ago and not this morning. Alberta told me to go find Christian, but Dimitri asked if he could have some time alone with me. She agreed, no doubt hoping he'd set me on the straight and narrow.

The room emptied, and I thought he'd sit and talk to me then and there, but instead he walked over to a small table that held a water dispenser, coffee, and other beverages.

"You want some hot chocolate?" he asked.

I hadn't expected that. "Sure."

He dumped four packets of instant hot chocolate into two Styrofoam cups and then added in hot water.

"Doubling it is the secret," he said when the cups were full.

He handed me mine, along with a wooden stirrer, and then walked toward a side door. Presuming I was supposed to follow him, I scurried to catch up without spilling my hot chocolate.

"Where are we—oh." I stepped through the doorway and found myself in a little glass-enclosed porch filled with small patio tables. I'd had no idea this porch was adjacent to the meeting room, but then, this was the building the guardians conducted all campus business out of. Novices were rarely allowed. I also hadn't realized the building was built around a small courtyard, which was what this porch looked out to. In the summer, I imagined one could open the windows and be surrounded in greenery and warm air. Now, encased in glass and frost, I felt like I was in some kind of an ice palace.

Dimitri swept his hand over a chair, brushing off dust. I did the same and sat down opposite him. Apparently this room didn't see a lot of use in the winter. Because it was enclosed, the room was warmer than outdoors, but it wasn't heated otherwise.

The air felt chilly, and I warmed my hands on my cup. Silence fell between Dimitri and me. The only noise came from me blowing on my hot chocolate. He drank his right away. He'd been killing Strigoi for years. What was a little scalding water here and there?

As we sat, and the quiet grew, I studied him over the edge of my cup. He wasn't looking at me, but I knew he knew I was watching. Like every other time I looked at him, I was always struck by his looks first. The soft dark hair that he often tucked behind his ears without realizing it, hair that never _quite _wanted to stay in its tie at the back of his neck. His eyes were brown too, somehow gentle and fierce at the same time. His lips had that same contradictory quality, I realized. When he was fighting or dealing with something grim, those lips would flatten and turn hard. But in lighter times … when he laughed or kissed…well, then they'd become soft and wonderful.

Today, more than his exterior hit me. I felt warm and safe just being with him. He brought comfort after my terrible day. So often with other people, I felt a need to be the center of attention, to be funny and always have something clever to say.

It was a habit I needed to shake to be a guardian, seeing as that job required so much silence. But with Dimitri, I never felt like I had to be anything more than what I already was. I didn't have to entertain him or think up jokes or even flirt. It was enough to just be together, to be so completely comfortable in each other's presence—smoldering sexual tension aside—that we lost all sense of self-consciousness. I exhaled and drank my cocoa.

"What happened out there?" he asked at last, meeting my gaze. "You didn't crack under the pressure."

His voice was curious, not accusatory. He wasn't treating me as a student right now, I realized. He was regarding me as an equal. He simply wanted to know what was going on with me.

There was no discipline or lecturing here.

"What happened out there?" He asked. "With Stan?"

"Nothing. I just messed up."

"Rose, you're a bad liar."

"No, I'm not. I'm good. I've told many lies. People believe them."

"It doesn't work with me. I can….just tell. Rose, Roza please, tell me."

"I can't."

"You don't have to do this alone."

"You say that…but tell me the truth. Do you go running to others when you have problems?"

"No. But if I did, it would be you. I love you Roza. You know that."

"I know…but…"

"Tell me Roza." He leaned in taking my hand in his.

"I… you'll think I'm crazy."

"Nothing could ever make me think that. Roza please." He moved his hand up to my wrist where his bracelet lay. That is So cheating.

"I saw Mason!" I blurted out, tears coming to my eyes. I wasn't expecting that but… after today… after admitting to the person I love that I was crazy…knowing how much he cared for me, I couldn't stop it.

"Oh Roza," he said hugging me close to his head as I sobbed in his chest. I'll admit it. It was nice being held by him. Being embraced in his arms made me feel safe again. Like all of this Mason stuff would just go away. Like I wasn't just almost removed from my field experience. "That doesn't make you crazy. There's sure to be a logical explanation."

"No, There's not. This was the second time. Last time? Yeah. But twice? No. I Am crazy."

"You're not crazy Roza." He kissed the top of my head. "And Roza, I'm Always here for you. No matter what. Do you understand?" He lifted my chin with his hand so our eyes were locked.

"Yes."

He brought his lips down to mine softly kissing my lips. I began kissing back slightly harder. "I love you."

"I love you too Roza."

We just sat there embracing each other for a while.

"I should go find Christian now." I said starting to get up.

"You're right. And Rose, Don't ever forget how much I care about you. That you can always trust me."

He sounded so vulnerable. Like he would break into a million pieces if I didn't know this. If I didn't understand him. "I know." And I truly did.

We kissed again before I left only to have my mood ruined again.

**Hope you enjoyed :D And PLEASE!!!! Review! I live for reviews!**


End file.
